It took me a long time to feel comfortable about physical theatre, as personally I try and keep my personal emotions at home and at counselling, and almost become a different person at school, where I can come without my baggage until it eventually follows me there. It took a lot for me to be comfortable with my group, and I am, and am not in a weird kind of way. I never really shared much but just being there was enough for me because I really did find it hard to even come in for the lessons as it all felt so raw for me, opening up about all the feelings I try to bury at school, and allowing myself to become vulnerable in a place that I try to always be strong, it was also really hard because at first I used to be really angry towards physical theatre, as I thought it was just a way to use my insecurities, pain and struggle to create some kind of actress, as for me it is not just 2 hours of being emotional then going home, as when I get home none of it ever goes away because for me it is everyday life and not everybody needed to know that which people still don't and I am happy with.
I also found it hard to relate my feelings to emotions without being literal because I felt stupid as when your upset or angry the first thing that comes to mind usually isn't movement, and it took me a while to get used to the idea but as the weeks went on it became easier. When we weren't being all sad and emotional I enjoyed playing the games and getting to work as a small group, moving and breathing as one, as well as sharing ideas and collaborating with different people. I also enjoyed going through the 7 levels of tension by french artist Jack Le'Coq
1. Sloppy
2. California
3. Neutral
4. Alert
5. Intention
6. Passionate
7. Paralysed
These stages will help us to perform emotively through creative, and experimental ways when producing new material.
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